| Weak In The Knees -- Serena Ryder |
[Jul. 18th, 2007|09:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  distressed | ] |
Would you mind if I pretended we were somewhere else,
doing something we wanted to,
'Cause all this living makes me wanna do,
is die because I can't live with you,
and you don't even care.
Would you mind if I pretended I was someone else,
with courage in love and war.
I use to think that's what I was,
but now this lying hurts to much,
and I don't know what for.
I'm weak in the knees for you,
but I'll stand if you want me to.
My legs are strong and I'll move on,
but hunny I'm weak, in the knees.
ooooohhh,
Would you mind if I walked over and I kissed your face,
infront of all your friends.
Would you mind if I got drunk and said,
I wanna take you home to bed,
Oh would you change your mind?
I'm weak in the knees for you,
but I'll stand if you want me to.
My legs are strong, and I'll move on,
but hunny I'm weak, in the knees, for you
Ooooh for you,
I'm weak in the knees for you,
but I'll stand if you want me to.
Oooohhhh
My legs are strong and I'll move on,
hunny I'm weak in the knees
I'm weak in the knees for you,
But I'll stand if you want me to.
My legs are strong and I'll move on,
But hunny I'm weak
Ooooh,
Hunny I'm weak,
Ooooh for you |
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| I Will Go Down With This Ship... |
[Jul. 16th, 2007|02:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be |
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| Always Be My Baby |
[Jan. 15th, 2007|10:55 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
We were as one
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'll let you fly
'Cause I know in my heart
Our love will never die
You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're ever gonna shake me
Oh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby
I ain't gonna cry
And I won't beg you to stay
If your determined to leave boy
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably, you'll be back again
'Cause you know in your heart babe
Our love will never end
You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're ever gonna shake me
Oh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby |
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| Shine On Me Forever... |
[Sep. 19th, 2006|02:42 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
Today was my birthday and it was pretty hot. Maneesh stayed with me last night which was the best present I could have asked for. Then we had to drop him off in the city so I could work and he could do moving in things so I was kinda sad. I got to work and opened the memos for the day and there was a birthday message for me, which made me kinda cranky. It got better though. The other members of the management team surprised me with dinner and ice cream cake. Then I went back to work for a while and had a team meeting with my direct reports, they also surprised me with food and a sexy chocolate cake. They gave me a Charlie Brown card and signed it with personal messages, some of which were soooo not work appropriate, but HR was closed so it was all cool. So I'm home now, winding down, waiting for the birthday party on Thursday, nice end to a good day. Maneesh just called to say goodnight so I guess I'm supposed to be in bed LOL Maybe getting old isn't so bad afterall. |
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| Your Arms Are My Castle, Your Heart Is My Sky... |
[Sep. 8th, 2006|02:43 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |
I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me
I still feel your touch in my dream
Forgive me my weakness but I don't know why
Without you it's hard to survive
'Cause every time we touch
I get this feeling
And every time we kiss
I swear I could fly
'Can't you feel my heart beat fast
I want this to last
Need you by my side
'Cause every time we touch
I feel this static
And every time we kiss
I reach for the sky
Can't you hear my heart beat so
I can't let you go
Want you in my life
Your arms are my castle
Your heart is my sky
They wipe away tears that I cry
The good and the bad times
We've been through them all
You make me rise when I fall |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 27th, 2006|09:27 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | loved | ] |
Wow, it's been a while since I've posted. I've just had three of the best days of my life. Maneesh was here, it was amazing to be able to spend some time together. I'm so head over feet, I don't want to go back to work this afternoon and have to deal with "reality", it's too soon LOL Speaking of which, I think I'll go sleep for a couple hours (in my cold, lonely bed lol). |
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| Well At Least I'm Not A Slut... |
[Aug. 6th, 2006|12:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |
| Your Love Style is Agape | 
You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.
Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.
You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.
Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.
For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love. |
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| I'm A Bisexual Mermaid? |
[Aug. 6th, 2006|04:25 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
| You Are a Mermaid | 
You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you're flakier than you actually are.
While your head is often in the clouds, you'll always come back to earth to help someone in need.
Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational.
You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else. |
| You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish |
You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be. |
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| Put A Smile On Your Face... |
[Aug. 6th, 2006|04:14 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
Last week was kind of shitty. Arguing with my mother, overworking myself, all those good things that make me crazy. I'm a little cheerier today though. I'm finally getting an assistant at work, I'm getting a bonus on this pay, I'm counting down the days until my super-sexy boy arrives to visit, lots of things to look forward to. I got two new dogs as well. Tinkerbell and Teddy, they are pomeranians and actually the parents of my other dog, Sparky. They are so much cuter than the cats some kids are trying to pass off as nice pets. If I believed in pictures I'd post some, but this whole livejournal thing is still a little beyond my grasp. I think I'll curl up and watch the series finale of Charmed for the fiftieth time. I love it right to bits. |
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| Your Presence Still Lingers Here, And It Won't Leave Me Alone... |
[Aug. 3rd, 2006|02:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | cold | ] |
My Immortal
-- Evanescence
i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
i've been alone all along |
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| I'm Forced To Fake A Smile, A Laugh, Every Day Of My Life... |
[Aug. 2nd, 2006|03:01 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | uncomfortable | ] |
Because Of You
--Kelly Clarkson
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
you fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing!
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life
because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 29th, 2006|05:04 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
| You Have Him Totally Hooked | 
Your guy is all yours - and happily so.
He loves being around you, and he totally sees you as a couple.
It looks like you two have a great future together - if you want it! |
| Men See You As Playful | 
Men want a challenge and you are the perfect playmate
You know how to push men's buttons and attract a wide range of guys
You enjoy living and loving - it's one of your most attractive qualities
Men are often consumed with desire for you, and you love that! |
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| There's The Man I Chose... |
[Jul. 29th, 2006|04:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
So, my vacation was a disaster. As I'd guessed, the scene so isn't my scene anymore. Friday night was cool, I got to spend some time with David at the club but no other big highlights. Saturday I was tired and blah so I skipped the pride festivities and stayed in to talk to Maneesh (we had some talking to do). I went out with Travis and Brenn to a Japanese place where I watched them eat various gross things and then we had fried ice cream. I went to the club that night for a couple hours, long enough to say hi to Kandise and Jules and Hot Ruben but I soooo wasn't feeling comfortable. All those people, all the noise, everyone f-cked up on whatever chemcial they can get their hands on, I just wanted to be home watching TV and eating pizza. I ended up leaving three hours early. I left first thing Sunday morning to come home, didn't even stick around for the drag show. It's weird how in two years I've changed so much in what I want for myself. I went from wanting to be the club queen surrounded by adoring fans to just wanting to be able to support myself and be with the guy I love and maybe have a nice little house with a porch and a puppy. Maturity really warps a person LOL I'm glad to be home, but I think I've learned something about myself, so I wouldn't really trade the experience. I think for my next vacation I'll just do the Canadian thing and see Niagara Falls ;) |
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| LOL The Internet Knows Me Too Well... |
[Jul. 19th, 2006|11:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | good | ] |
| Your Personality Is Like Cocaine | 
You're dynamic, brilliant, and alluring to those who don't know you.
Hyper and full of energy, you're usually the last one to leave a party.
Sometimes your sharp mind gets the better of you... you're a bit paranoid! |
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| Bittersweet Homecoming... |
[Jul. 19th, 2006|11:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | excited | ] |
My vacation was approved, yay :) That means I'll be in Halifax Friday, Saturday, and Sunday for pride festivities. I'm really excited to see old friends. I've missed the city a lot. It's been so long though that I feel a little weird stepping back into that scene. I like to think I'm pretty different in my old age, it should be interesting. I think the worst part of the ordeal though will be the lack of contact with my boy, balancing having fun and missing him is gonna be difficult. I'll try to remember some good stories to share. |
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| Northern Star... |
[Jul. 6th, 2006|02:17 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
This week has definitely taken a turn for the best. Being back on nights has done a lot for my sanity, and I'm definitely enjoying the new position at work. Right now I'm waiting to hear if my vacation time is approved for pride. If it's not I'm gonna be pretty cranky. I haven't been to the city in months, it would be a nice change of scenery. I've done a little more work on my correspondence course, which is good, I've been putting it off way too much. I guess it's nice to feel content for a couple minutes. Good job, working on bettering education, big plans to see old friends coming up, most beautiful boy in the whole world is in my life, not much to complain about tonight. I guess we could consider this a manic phase LOL. |
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| I'm Never Alone; I'm Alone All The Time |
[Jul. 2nd, 2006|01:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crushed | ] |
Well, it's been a crazy few days. I got the job I was going after. Yay! More money. On the downside it means I'm starting over at the bottom of the shift ladder and I'll be working closing shift and weekends for a while. Goodbye social life. I went out last night with the crew for one last wild time. I had an awesome time, I haven't smiled or laughed so much in ages. Then I got home and things went downhill. I got some news that I was fine with at the time, but as it sank in and the vodka cleared from my brain I got a little upset. I cried a little. That's rare for me. I think I must be manic depressive. Maybe I should see if the doctor will medicate me. If you can't beat the feelings, kill 'em with drugs, eh? LOL I'm looking forward to tomorrow. New day, new week, new beginnings. |
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| I'm On The Second Floor Watching The Cieling... |
[Jun. 26th, 2006|10:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  weird | ] |
I'm still no less tired this week. I don't know if I'll ever adjust to operating in the daylight like a civilized human being. On the upside I have an interview tomorrow at work, my fingers are crossed. This is my second interview for this position in a month, I have to get it eventually, right? LOL I could use the $5/hour raise, I could buy myself too many nice things *sigh*. I have a feeling I should be in bed but I find myself watching Grace Under Fire and listening to Chantal. This damn computer is a curse, I can't pull myself away from it. I think I'll throw the television and computer through the window tomorrow so I can have some time to think. |
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| I Won't Know What To Do, And I Won't Know What To Say |
[Jun. 25th, 2006|02:40 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | All I Feel Is Love | ] |
I went out tonight to the local annual outdoor party. It rained though, so it was postponed and moved inside. It was good fun though, the whole high school crew showed up unexpectedly and it's been four years since we've all been in the same room. It was a beautiful time. I couldn't help but feel a little something missing. My thoughts have been sort of divided lately. I have this physical thin with work and family and school, but I find myself spending more and more energy looking toward possibilities that aren't physical yet. It's a lot to think about. Maybe I'll share more later.
"There is a moment when I look at you
And no speech is left in me
My tongue breaks
Fire races under my skin
And I grow pale,
for I am dying of such love
Or so it seems to me" |
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| It's Past My Bedtime... |
[Jun. 15th, 2006|02:18 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | I'm Here Without You, Baby... | ] |
The last week has been sooooo long. I've finally switched from a night shift to a day shift and all this early to bed early to rise stuff has me walking around like a zombie. I probably wouldn't be so bad if I could pry myself away from the computer before midnight. I'm such an MSN addict, maybe it's time to develop a real social life LOL. I signed up for livejournal tonight at 2 am, not a good start on tomorrow, but I napped all night so I should be ok. Gotta save some energy for tomorrow night though, it's my karaoke night. I probably shouldn't go, last week was kind of scandalous *blush* ( I hope to never see tequila again ) but I'm sure everyone has forgotten by now. Anyway, I should go brush my teeth and give the sleep thing another go. |
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